Years of planning. Research. Coordination. Technical hurdles overcome. Patience. Impatience. Close calls. Near misses. Adventure. Pirates. And finally, now, the culmination of one of the greatest covert operations ever carried out by Souse Report operatives.
Through many trials, the courier known only as “Codename Brownshorts” has at last delivered the secret formula to Souse Report HQ. His journey was long and fraught with peril. The unspeakable dangers he faced, the hideous acts of betrayal and perversion he was forced to commit: these are too terrible to recount here. Let us say instead that he faced these challenges and overcame them, discharging his duty despite losing a leg and, somehow, gaining a testicle.
And now it is here, and the true work begins. The Souse Report staff must now go into seclusion to perform a thorough evaluation of this fantastic substance. Stay tuned, however, as additional reports will follow within the next 72 hours, issued from our Undisclosed Location.